That's me the beach dress-the one that's casually thrown on to go to the beach, you get there and the first thing you do is rip me off and throw me in the sand, leave me for hours to then throw me back on for the ride back home. Do you realise that sand gets everywhere? That being black leaving me in the sun for hours makes me boil? And your salty sweaty seaweedey skin stinks? And I definitely do not enjoy being crumpled up to be used as a pillow for your wet hair!
Ok, ok, breathe- I really must learn to control my temper but I just get so angry, first off I sit in the wardrobe for most of the year next to the most beautiful dresses that get worn all the time (except poor old Christmas dress) then it comes to summer and all I get to see is a couple of trips to the English Seaside. To be fair, the seaside is beautiful I just wish she cared for me more- I'm just a means of getting there, a cover up for the real masterpiece, the main attraction- the slinky black swimsuit or that dotted bikini she insists on wearing even though it makes her hips look huge. No one cares about me, I'm never complimented, you always spill icecream on me and guys are always pinching my behind, eurgh.
And here I've been for at least a lifetime now- in some box, in someones attic, I get pushed from pillar to post and back again, apparently I'm not 'cool' anymore, everyone wears 'kaftans' not dresses nowdays. Who'd of thought it- a time when a little black dress is no longer sufficient to even get you to the beach, I'm only good for taking up room in your dark dingy attic, even all my friends have been taken away to put on eBay, some come back and then they go forever, apparently it's the best way out of here. They take your photo, measure you, spray you with some fabric freshener and you're put up for auction, the highest bidder wins and then you're shipped off to some magical land with a fresh start with owners who care- and today is my day to shine.
How exciting I get to get out of the attic see the day light again, oh this is bizarre. She has no idea who I am- shoving me on some plastic hanger, this is going to be as embarrassing as those year book photos still in the attic- she could have at least have got the wrinkles out of my skirt and sewed up that button that's so nearly falling off and ahhhh a flash- that was bright! is this really how we get out of here? It's like a horror movie!
*****
That was the worst journey of my life, god knows where I've been, I feel like I've been thrown around for weeks, I'm crumpled beyond belief! Hopefully when she tears the brown paper off me my new owner will love me and adore me and I swear this time I'll love the beach- I don't care if you leave me in the sand- bury me for all I care I just want to be worn!
*****
She loves me, she loves me, she washed me (by hand!) hung me in the fresh air to dry, ironed out my creases and fixed my buttons. She even wore me the other day-and we didn't even go to the beach- I was the main attraction, me the plain old black dress, we went to town and went shopping and sat and watched movies and she didn't spill any icecream on me- oh I love her and she said she can't wait to wear me again!
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